homosexual lust can only put a damper on one's self-esteem. that is, if you take your gender seriously. that is, if you take your gender seriously and you find yourself gawking at or otherwise idolizing somebody of the same gender, well, it's pretty much slapping yourself in the face. it's a slap in the face that can't be felt by the "proud" queers whose "pride" is not but a piece of wool for their eyes.
so question your definition of "self-love". people nowadays liken "self-love" to the ability to just "doowutchyalike," liken self-love to the state of catering to the pleasure principle, it's kind of blind and pathetic. i've seen guys whose self-love is apparent, man, they're always walking around in an "up" mood, there's always at least the smallest trace of a smile on their faces, their always standing up straight and proud of themselves, best thing about it is this happens when they're all alone! so self-love is really treating yourself as you'd treat your 'significant other,' being alone as you'd be alone with your 'significant other'.
men whose 'self-love' is more than a matter of id, love their girlfriends/wives enough to be satisfied with them as their only woman...why shouldn't they love themselves enough to be their only man?