yes, i'm lonely. i've been lonely for years. i haven't had any friends because a) i don't commit to anything long enough to bond with anybody, b) i don't like to stay in one place for too long, c) i may be schizophrenic [a doc in b'more said yes while a doc in philly said hell no], d) all my masculivoids seem to get in the way of friendships with guys, e) i'd hang around with gays, and their all-around selfish "me me me, i'm the only one" attitudes slapped me in the face. besides that, a feeling of acceptence is hard to come by, justify my sex life. justify our sex lives?

so i sing, flat as it may be, i sing. i love "singing" with jagged little pill, screaming, it's like i'm spitting out a big hogger. or, is it lugie heart belongs to 80s.

back to human relations, that's the reason i would always sign up for college. i didn't wanna learn, i just wanted friends, to be one of the guys! isn't it pathetic, don't ya think? that's why i signed up for rehab in nashville, i had "nothing to do and no one to do it with," as i always said. i didn't need it, i didn't really want it, i just wanted something to do. someone to relate to. that's why i flew swa relentlessly in the summer of '98, what '86ish u2 song would justify that behavior? what '88 or '89 stephen king book would exemplify the emotion i was feeling? more

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