i was not born aroused by men. it was not a conscious decision either. it was more or less only a matter of resentment. try as i may, i could not excel at sports the way my heros did. i was jealous of all the hairy armpits around me in the locker room as early as age 9. i was a scrawny boy, weak, less apt. i was always trying to be "just one of the guys," i didn't and couldn't see myself as equal.

so that's why i'm gay. because opposites attract. look inside yourself and i'll bet you'd be able to justify your mcsexuality the same way, be that heterosexual or homosexual.

by the way, i've not given up on having sex. it's just that whenever i get lonely for what is masculine, i usually jerk off and forget about it. so i don't actively seek sex. and heck, i don't have gay friends so it's not like i'm resisting any temptation. wait, i don't have any straight friends either!

and i can't meet anyone, i don't 'go out'. i guess you could call me a depressed writer...but who's the one who's discontent at home alone? : p

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