a girl i knew and who had supported me through my accident was friends wiith this one other girl who was, i don't know if i'd call her sarcastic or negative, or just plain distrusting. anyway, the way she would talk would crack me up. it made me feel good to talk the way she did, i remember one day in the hallway i stopped to talk to a jock (i was, like most homosexually aroused "men") jealous of and therefore sexually attracted to this type of man) and he told me that he wanted to try out for the theater, as i always did. i guess i had to protect something, because i took on this girl's persona and said arrogantly, "hmmn, a performer!"

i could tell that the jockman was taken aback, almost hurt. i was superior, though, although it was only a facade.


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