today i went to pick up a few items at the grocery store, and though the bagger man looked about 19 or 21 years old, i was gawking because well he had a muscle shirt on and he was pretty strong-looking. couldn't get a peek at his hairy armpits, but as i was gawking i was thinking..."you weren't born gay, dude, you're just plain naive".

visions of 'men' all playing with themselves in steamrooms, trying to catch the attention of anybody even the least bit homosexually inclined, came into my head. visions of voided ol' me sitting on a hopper in a public restroom, looking under the stall walls at my neighbors and catching another voided guy doing the exact same thing. visions of hotel rooms and my 'lovers' channel surfing and as soon as they pass a half-undressed man, the red lights alert in the backs of their minds and they flip back and gawk.

there is nothing genetic about naivete. if somebody has a mystique about them, the mystique is all in our minds because the one who so easily gets our utmost attention is only human like everybody else. this is what i mean when i say, "we all have delusions in our heads".



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