gays can't 'change' if they're still bound by the pleasure principle. if you're still into licking peoples' faces, sticking your hand up somebody's ass, giving yourself enemas for a's likely that you still live for the pleasure principle with a child's mentality/emotional make-up, and it's not likely that you can be anything outside of your libido.

i've had an insatiable appetite to be 'one of the guys,' etc etc, ever since i was a young boy (don't all boys?). it never happened, i never felt one in the same with the guys, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so i developed a homosexual attraction. i used to cruise the countryside looking for 'men' (gay men henceforth shall be known as 'masculivoids') to have sex with, to give me that feeling of inclusion that i have wanted for as long as i can remember.

at the age of 25, pleasing myself doesn't seem as important as it did when i was an adolescent. i don't let my homosexual attraction justify my life or the man i am, this is why i've never had a boyfriend. i figure i'm more real if i were to be true to the man i am by letting him be my one and only, rather than to be true to my libido's wanton desires. though i can lust for masculine images, i can't be defined by the pleasure principle...because, unless mr. manipulator rears his ugly head (he's one of my schizoid-personalities), i can't bear to hear myself putting my equals on a pedestal. i don't consider myself gay because i am not as limited or childish as gays are.

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