when i was "chatting" with the goodlooking gay guy, i told him that i couldn't remember when the last time i jerked off was. i told him i didn't do much of jerking off. after getting pictures from him, it was a different story. and i jerked off a bunch of times with his pictures open on my computer. er, rubbed off. anyway, having just woke up with a hard-on and having just ignored 'the call of the wild,' i realized something. i don't usually jerk off to pictures, when i rub off in the middle of the day i use pictures to get me hard, but (in the words of madonna) all i need is my own imagination.
i could have easily started rubbing off when i woke up, instead of getting out of bed and turning on the computer, but i didn't. and that kind of reaffirmed the reason why i do not seek sex anymore, i am too focused on the reality of my life to want something else to get me through my semi-charmed kind of masculine existence. yeah, it's still semi-charmed, i still am in awe in front of some men, but sex is not as important to me as it once was. i'm on the gay o l chat rooms day after day and night after night, marketing my website and "chatting" with gays who im me, it seems gay o l m4m guys have sex number one on their list of priorities. "don't get me wrong, sex is great," they always say after telling me that they like me for who i am and not for what i can give them.