it is january 13, 2001 today. last time i had sex was around may 2000. last time i spouted jizz at all was around october 2000. last time i resisted temptation was in the locker room this morning. not. i'm a-gonna shout out a big "sorry" to all you adolescentile excuses for adults, i know from reading your angry letters that i am seen as unfulfilled and miserable for "lying to myself" and not engaging in homosexual activity.

remember veruca salt in charlie and the chocolate factory? "i want it nowwww, daddy," is what she always said. she was into self-pleasure, if she didn't get it then she got into self-pity and whined to papa. yes, her father, she was probably about 8 or 9 years old. let me slap you in the face.

i guess i already did, the quest for pleasure is a childish thing. narrow-minded, too, because all you're thinking about is yourself. and how you can "get happy," no doubt. "satisfied," "quenched" or "fulfilled," even. and you preach that self-love is the acceptence and the celebration of what makes you happy, not even taking into consideration the whole story behind someone who needs to be made happy. ("i want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life")

real happiness and fulfillment come from inside, they aren't dependent on 'pop life'. or sex. or friday nights. or material things. actually, the only thing of the material world that can make one meeting the material girl!!!

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