okay, i put an ad on some gay personals, bellyaching because i had no purpose or friends or a reason to get up in the morning. one masculivoid emails and tells me that i have to get out and find a boyfriend. geez louise, i know how it'd be a good thing for me to get out of the house more, but really...his inclusion of "finding a boyfriend" in his list of ways to get my life better tells me that he's a flat-out leech. first, whole people do not need sex to be happy, and what are 'boyfriends' to gays but whenever-you-want-it type sex machines wrapped in a slab of masculinity who are there for you whenever you find yourself...pardon my french...alone? he said i have to find a boyfriend to be happy, but he meant that to be happy i'd have to find a body i can idolize night after night whose person i can depend on for a mere will to live.

one response was yet another case of "you're the one with the problem". i was told (by a gay "man") that i had to love myself. "you can't love anybody else until you love yourself," is basically what he said. okay, once more i'll say that you don't love yourself if you don't build yourself up to be all the man you need. you may feel good about your accomplishments, your abilities, but you're not showing the man you are anything reminiscent of love if you have to "find" a boyfriend.



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