as you probably were made aware, from my constant bragging and everything, the last time i was sexual with anybody was in may of 2000. shamefully, i will have to admit that all that changed today.

with my only friend, larry, gone to live with the 21 year-old he views as a "son," with the feeling of abandonment that plagues me, i am a lonely man. today, in an effort to thwart that loneliness, i went to sign a lease to live in an apartment located in a place that was unfamiliar to me. i thought that living in a new place would be exciting; with the length of time it would take to get accustomed to it, the four-month lease i signed would have been perfect. maybe if the apartment had a front door that emptied into a parking lot, rather than into a hallway, i would've been semi-happy living there. maybe if i bothered to look at the apartment before signing the lease, i wouldn't have signed the lease and i wouldn't have given my money away. maybe if i didn't tell larry about what i got myself into, he wouldn't have called the apartment complex, and his telephone-communication skills wouldn't have been able to get my money back and the lease cancelled. thank god that larry did all that, but nothing can cancel or undo what i did to thwart my loneliness after signing the lease.

the man who worked behind the desk, the man who gave me the lease to sign, was big and strong and sexy. and when he scratched his armpit, that set me off, i thought he was making a pass at me - i thought he knew about my fascination with hairy armpits from my website. well, after leaving his office and going back into my car, i was feeling accepted and a little conscious of all the men in the world. so, to heighten my feeling of acceptance, i knew exactly what to do to find brother-figures who were lonely enough to accept me. do you know what i did? what'd i tell you i did to meet people, before the turn of the century, besides cruising the gay chat rooms and hanging out at rest stops?!

i went to an adult bookstore! fortunately, or unfortunately, there was one that was in close proximity to the apartments. i didn't go there to "get off," i went there to meet somebody, anybody. well, i walked in and made my way to the back of the store, where the video booths were, and almost instantly i found me a father-figure. we went into a booth and fooled around, he asked me to suck his dick, yuck...but i did for a little while, thank god he didn't cum in my mouth. come to think of it, he didn't cum at all. i cum quickly, but this guy's dick didn't even seem to be working, because, besides not cumming, it didn't even get hard in my mouth!

anyway, he wanted to suck me until i came, he kept trying to suck cum out of me, but i kept telling him that i didn't want to cum. soon, we started talking. i told him i needed somebody, a friend, blah blah...and he gave me the impression that he was true and honest, and that he would be the man i was looking for. so, i followed him to his house...and there, i told him about my situation...but soon i wanted to snuggle with him in bed. so, we went into his room, stripped and cuddled in bed.

soon, he started sucking me, and i let him. "he's wanted to do it for the last hour," i thought, "he let me in his house and into his life," so i let him make me cum. after that, he wanted me to "play with" his ass. he wanted me to stick my finger in it! yuck. then he offered me a condom to put over my finger, so i did and i stuck it in his butt. ew. when it was all over, i asked him if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow. he said yes, but i don't know if he will. i gave him my number, maybe he'll call, but i doubt it. he was probably 15 or 20 years older than me, we probably have little in common, i need to make real friends my own age. friends i don't see naked.

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