hi. it's january 9th today, and i just am in the mood to write about stuff. namely, my arctic twister, as i just made myself a soft-serve ice cream cone!

it was a christmas present from my friend, larry. it's got its own website, www.arctictwister.com, but i don't know how long that will be online. probably not as long as this website will be. it's made by black & decker, and it is, to take a song title from hello, dolly!, er, cabaret, "perfectly marvelous". if you've ever had a mcflurry from mcdonald's, it can make those simply by stuffing the phallus-like object with ice cream and crushed oreos or m&ms, then letting its grinder do its work. ooh, i managed to get the words "phallus" and "grinder" in the same sentence! (badum-bum)

or, you can just put ice cream in the big, hollow phallus...and have soft-serve ice cream come out the little hole. "little hole," wait, i have to tell you a story that i told once but i'm not sure if it's still on this website.

when i was a sophomore, i was in neil simon's barefoot in the park, as the eccentric upstairs neighbor named victor velasco. his love-interest was played by this girl named stef. sound familiar, have you read this before...maybe in the summer of 2002? anyway, one day, the two leads were practicing onstage, and both me and stef were in the wings...probably goofing off, making each other laugh and all. incidentally, stef's mind was almost as perverted as mine was. so, the leads were arguing - rather, the leads were playing out one of the arguments in the script - about a hole in a skylight. "it's a little hole," she reasons...and that sets stef's perversion off with a gunshot. "it's a little hole," she said as she nearly broke out into hysterics, which set me off into hysterics. "it's a little hole," i knew what was on stef's mind.

this probably got the director steaming mad, but he was the german teacher with a game called, "douche-land," so it was probably all in fun. (actually, it was called "deutchland," but he got a kick out of my calling it "douche-land")

check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com , unless you're there now