march 2, 2003
no, i don't do drag. i wouldn't go dressing up in effeminate garb - the scars that my lack of masculine gender-identity left me with, do not run deep enough. but, if i did do drag, my name would be sue. sue perior, as a matter of fact.
anyway, i just got back from gallivanting around the country, and i have something classic to share with myself. listen up!
picture me pulling into a busy parking lot. picture me spotting a parking space. picture me pulling into that parking space, then seeing that it is a pull-through! (for those of you who don't know, a "pull-through" parking space is a parking space with a vacant space adjoining its backside. so, you pull in the first parking space and are able to enter the second one from the back, so when it's time to leave then you're already facing forward. yeah, you can get the same effect by backing into any single parking space, but pull-throughs are more fun).
anyway, i had driven through the first parking space and was pulling into the second one from the rear, when another car started pulling into my parking space from the front. i stopped and he stopped, and i guess we were both waiting for one another to back up and choose another space. well, we just sat there. and sat there. and sat there. neither one of us had any intention of backing up. we just sat there. and sat there. and sat there. we must've sat there for nearly five minutes. then, a family showed up and boarded the car next to the car that was turning into my parking space. they whole family was perplexed, awaiting some answer, but i guess both the other driver and myself were just ignoring them like they weren't there. i know i was. soon, the ugly female was on her cell phone, probably complaining to someone about the situation.
anyway, the family soon got into their car, but they could not drive away...because the car that was turning into my space was blocking them in. i don't know if any communication went on between the outlaw driver and the family, i was still ignoring them by looking away and singing, but neither of us had any intention of budging. we just sat there. and sat there. and sat there. the ugly female went to write both of our tags down. but we just sat there. and sat there. and sat there. and another five minutes probably had passed. but, to make a long and uneventful story short, the outlaw driver soon backed up. i was king. "ha," i thought, i reigned supreme.
the family, no longer blocked in, did not pull their car out. i don't know what they were doing. but i just stayed there. by this time, it was a game of patience - i had no intention of going into the store anymore. i must've sat there for three to five minutes, waiting for the family to leave. eventually, they did. and, eventually, so did i.
"those people were liberals," i thought to myself, trying to justify my stubborn behavior as righteous, "especially that crybaby feminist".