Inspiration for this song came from a gay chat room:

MasculineCMHguy: If you have a man. . what are u doing here? You never know what you've got till there gone.

i can't tell my lady what went wrong
i can't make me feel what i felt so long ago
time stole backbones
i can't take them back, i will yearn
esteem comes and goes, i'm not the best so i turned
real man, i blow

if i take some time to think them over, gay dreams
i will find wrecked my soul
now i'm needy for males, oh

don't know what you got til it's gone
don't know how it is, i gived my all
now my esteem is shot - at studs i gawk
but it's so easy to be had,
ray's so strong

i can't feel the things that cause me pain
i can clear my heart of self-love, lust takes the place
gay is great
i hear my heart, it's scarred by gay
tearing through my soul, i lust for ways that earn my praise
dudes with strength

if i take some time to think them over, gay dreams
i will find wrecked my soul
now i'm needy for males, oh

don't know what you got til it's gone
don't know how it is, i gived my all
now my esteem is shot - at studs i gawk
but it's so easy to be had,
ray's so strong

i don't wanna freakin' beg for gay things
can i live without just one more lay
can you see my heart's no faggot, maybe
i been lookin' but not building strength


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