i wrote this for a christmas contest

dashing through the snow, i'm a young whore, don't need paid
for a queer to blow, gas won't halt my play
sell my stocks and dreams for E-eighty five
but fun it is to have my semen spraying from my pipe

oh, jingle balls, bring your balls, bring them on my sleigh
oh, what fun it is to slide 'tween your buns in ford's escape
jingle balls, bring your balls, bring them if you're gay
so much fun men are to ride - i'm a fun whore, so they say

a day or two down road, i thought to get "gay pride,"
seducing fannies, i had many in a line
of course, they needed laid - misfortune teased a lot
my cock was brown, the stink was rank, gay pride got much mocked

oh, stink is hell, stink is hell, stink is human na-
ture, what fun is it to slide up a butt, i'm so dismayed
stink is hell, stink is hell, stink will turn me straight,
oh, what fun is it to pride for a fuck if made to bathe?

a day or two down road, the story i must tell
i went out on the road, soon on my back for mel
i said, "just ride my thighs, i'm your fun whore, don't dismay"
his shaft would spare nobody's life, now quickly i have aids

i think i'm selled, think i'm selled down the river, eh?
not much fun it is to pride for a life that's so risk-ay
think i'm selled, think i'm selled down it with all gays
not much fun it is to pride when "gay pride" is mostly feigned

now i'm out of life - so dead, i'm so young
take the words i write, don't cling to gays at all
just get your noggin' straight, gay porn it has your cerebes
hitch it to a boat or plane, and damn the gays in heat

i wish q well, wish q well, wish q learns my say
not much fun it is to lie 'bout the root cause of big aids
i wish q well, wish q well, wish q learns my say
not much fun it is to die from the one you choose to lay
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