where to begin.  well, there's a song parody of wilson phillips' "release me," which reflects on the situation here, but...as don henley and patti smyth say, "sometimes songs just ain't enough".

"your life is shit, your life is not worth anything," constant berates, constant nags, it's as if the communist (yes, she is a cali- liberal) wants to change the lives of all people to be in accordance with what she deems as appropriate.  can you say hillary clinton?  how about socialized medicine.

she has the elite mind-set - for years she has not called just to say hi, except for that one time she took it upon herself to have a "life coach" call me from freaking nevada to give me one free "therapy session" over the phone.  you know, because i am not living up to her standards and because she does not approve of my jobless life.  can you imagine having a sister like this?  she always complains that my near-fatal car wreck made me "set for life" - i guess she'd be okay with it if i were not able to talk or walk, but being that i have recovered as well as i have...she thinks i have no right to have it.

i hate to bring up others who have suggested i give it back.

this is what i go through whenever she calls - mass berating. :)   so, once i was getting damned sick and tired of it, so i respond to one of her emails, wherein i use "ungodly" and then quip, "i'm sorry for mentioning god by name, but i don't know what gays call their customized version".

she responds "you are a judgmental bigot and i don't want to have anything to do with you ever again". so, naturally, i call her on how she is being judgmental by judging me as a judgmental bigot. i emailed her back with "tolerate my intolerance, you bigot" in the subject line.

i asked my mom once when we were talking about her own dissatisfaction with my life (yes, mom is like sis sometimes, just not as berating): "do you regret having gotten a super lawyer to win my case against new jersey".  she says basically: "well, all of the doctors said that you'd be institutionalized for the rest of your life".  ok, well that's enough said.  i do not deserve compensation for the state's negligence because i turned out so good.

what about half my adolescence, what about my young adult life?  stolen due to a bunch of branches hanging over a stop sign.  what about the memory of the blond ambition tour a week before the wreck, that's gone forever.  that's the fucking worst, it pains me every day.

this is the symbol for tongue-in-cheek :-')

anyway, back to my ditzer...er, sister...she has defended illegal immigrants and justified their cost to society's pocketbook, adding a basic "why should you care" to the common mantra i've heard oh-so many times: "you have more money than you know what to do with".  i guess in her mind of robin hood, anything that takes from the comfy is okay.  because she isn't comfy.  "let me benefit as a music therapist, from the life-plannings of doctors and lawyers".  who the fuck would even choose to be a music therapist?  it's as corny a "therapy" as "theraputic recreation," which i hated being put through after my brain- trauma.  it's as corny a therapy as cross-country phone-therapy.  i guess she's entitled to be comfy even with her bogus job, it's not like blacks should be the only ones getting unwarranted perks.

and before you start calling me a hypocrite, they call them "car accidents" for a reason.  and to call me a hypocrite for not giving my money back and living like the majority now that i'm mostly recovered, i suggest you take a trip through a windshield as a prelude to a scenic yet comatose flight to the nearest metro-hospital, where you will be brought back to life to begin a new life of physical and mental disability.

you know, so we can all be EQUAL.  so you won't envy me and so i won't envy you, biotch.

back to the ditzer, she has the elite mind-set, just like the ignorance i sense from that worker at the ymca and day-to-day from half the people i deal with: "i'm too legit to even be acknowleding you, you are petty".

i guess it's this website that has turned little miss non-judgmental compassion against me.  as well as the others.  it's not like my website's a household name after 7 years, but i guess some locals know about it.  but, as i say, "tolerate my intolerance, you bigots," for the only way you can form an opinion of someone - positive or negative - is by JUDGING.  and without poor poor pitiful me being judged by people with standards for who they'll let into their lives...i would not be friendless as i am today.

okay, maybe that's just a convenient excuse.  i am friendless because i sit at home all day.  well, that's not all true, sometimes i stand.

check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com , unless you're there now