christmas is coming.  i do not hate christmas, jesus or religion.  at around 8 o'clock on december 22, the doorbell rang.   upstairs, i rushed to the window to see what kind of company car was in the driveway, who would come around at fucking eight o'clock?!

christmas carolers.  though, i only heard Strong Woman's voice, but Strong Woman wouldn't go anywhere at night alone.  but i did hear singing of some carol.  one of my dogs went out the doggie door before they rang the bell and starting barking like a maddog.  i assumed my pose of officer krystal and COMMANDED him to get inside.  then when the bell rang and i rushed to the window and heard the carolers through the door to the downstairs, i got angry.  my dog was outside on the deck, barking again - this time he did not come at once when he heard my officer krystal voice.  not at twice, either.  i had to yell and scream with my ever-so deep and masculine bass/baritone.  soon, i was yelling at the carolers i didn't know were still around.  i hope i scared them away and that they will never come around again.  i want to put a sign on my door: NO CAROLERS, TRICK-OR-TREATERS, HOLIDAY-CELEBRATERS ARE WANTED HERE ALIVE.

that'd be funny.  i know i was being totally psycho, i hope i scared whatever kids were out there, i should have cursed more.   i was thinking to myself, "cursing would make it sound like you intentionally want to be deemed a psycho," so i laid off cursing at first.  transparencies are for overhood projectors in sixth grade.  i don't even know if they were nearby when i started cursing.

in the words of bonnie raitt, "let's give 'em something to talk about, how about meee-heeee-heeeeeeee-heeeeeee".

i called the police department and reported the nuisance.  this is private property, biotch.  well, hopefully they think an insane man lives here...and they won't be back.
an afterthought: i would have loved to answer the door.  picture jennifer grey in ferris bueller's day off.
the singing nurse.  need i say more.  just the look on her face... on my face.

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