here is a story about the last couple days.
i got all dressed up, a button-down shirt and jean shorts, to impress the manager at radio shack. i went there, he was not there, but i heard someone on the phone saying "he'll be in at 2". so, i assumed he was talking about the manager.
so, i wandered around the store a little more to find odds and ends. i needed cheap stuff, cuz i didn't wanna spend a lot. i eventually left.
see, the day before, i thought i lost my phone, but i put it in the home depot bag that my purchases were in. so, mr. manager offered to call it. i thought he was calling from his cell. he was calling from the store phone. but, thinking he was calling from his cell, when i got home i send a text message. "this is spam. you won something. dinner next store?". when i got the message that it was sent to him with sprint's "text to landline," i did the same thing to my home phone. it sounded like "this is pam. you want something," and i said oops.
next time i was in, i told him about sending a text, it going to the landline, and he seemed uncomfortable. i wanted to tell him that it didn't say "you want something," cuz that sounds porno. but he changed the subject quickly instead of responding to what i did.
so, once i got approved for a $700 credit card there (that was a total shocker, my credit was way bad, but it's gotten better), i was like a kid in a candy store, inspecting everything in the store. i was there for 2 or 3 hours. same as the other day, i was there for maybe 1 or 2. but with my $700 card, i got $300 worth of stuff - a $70 clearance electric guitar to take up again, a gadget to make my computer the amplifier, and an outdoor cam to keep an eye on my doggies from the computer when they go out.
oh, this one customer said something about my shirt which said "petophilia, that ain't no crime" with a picture of me making out with one of my dogs. i venture to guess he is a knee-jerk liberal, one not all that smart, because he said something like "pedophilia is a horrible crime, is that some kind of a joke" or something. i was not going to explain my shirt, i refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person, isn't that the quote?
so, i said "it's dogs, not children," and he moved to the other end of the store. ha.
i'm leaving my www.jaggedlittledyl.com, LLC business cards in bathrooms. "www.jaggedlittledyl.com, LLC - i-yi recommend getting your pride trampled on, it's overdone" it says on 2 lines in the middle. my email address up top and the mailing address in seattle at the bottom. and on the back, my parody of the jagged little pill album cover. ok, that didn't even have a vinyl, did it. ok, cd cover.
i have checks to pay for things with. a pink ribbon check that says "sever them, biotch," is one i paid for the hair care stuff i got at the salon with all female employees. that's my favorite, not the check, but using it at such a female place.
i have many other designs, maybe i'll post them later on. i was on a quest to get some man porno mag today, i need something to do while my computer is restoring. barnes and noble now keeps them up front. years ago, all porno mag was in the top shelf in the back. not anymore. i don't want playgirl, cuz all those "men" are plasticmen, shaved and all. i cringe when i see a guy in a pose like shania twain, arm up and elbow bent, showing off his smooth armpit. mas cu li void.
i had to walk around a lot today, cuz i had a third or a fourth of a half-gallon of ice cream. i probably had 300 or 400 calories, so i walked around for a half an hour at home depot, then went to barnes and nobles, best buy, maybe wal-mart. then i bought a java chip drink at starbucks, to put some business cards in their bathroom as well, but i only had half of it and no whipped cream, cuz halfway through i thought "this has a lot of calories". so i threw it away in the bathroom and left my calling card.
in two bathrooms, maybe home depot and starbucks, i did push-ups after pissing. 24 at homo depot and 26 at starbucks. half with hands touching and half with hands shoulder-width apart.
i have to order my new shirt. it has a picture of a lot of my poop in a toilet, that pic is somewhere on this site, and it says "you wanna see my butt" at the top - and "here's a teaser" at the bottom.