Hello. It's 4/17/08, I just got back from the YMCA. See, I've been a member of one like 100 miles away for almost a year now, it cost me $16 a month, and I've been - shit, I'm using capital letters. probably cuz i'm using a blank wordpad with no html at the beginning or end.

i've been using that $16 a month card to get into a local ymca, and it's been working. another local ymca, they let me in twice last year with my out-of-state card, and the last time i went i started talking to someone in the sauna, telling him about paying only $16 a month as opposed to his $60ish fee. then, the next time i tried to go, i was denied. i think i was talking to a crybaby liberal socialist, and didn't even know it. but i haven't been back since.

but i went a few days ago and they still said no. then i went back the next day, thinking they had to let me in because they are a member of the away (always welcome at ymcas) program, but they still denied me because there was no away sticker on my card.

pride shaken, as i believe i am not liked by feminists and their ilk when i am a walking billboard for my website - t-shirts and self-designed checks to pay for things with - i went home to find a low-priced ymca that would give me an away card. i found one a little over an hour away, $12 more than what i was paying for the one 100 miles away, but still over $30 less than the y that wouldn't let me in.

so, i quit the $16 a month y and joined the $28, i got a normal membership card with an away sticker on the back, and went to the y that kept denying me. as i said, i went there the day before yesterday and the day before that, got denied both times, so i was expecting a problem. hoping for, is more like it. here's how it all went down.

the Strongwomen who gave me the problem last two times, they were not at the front desk this time, and i had little problem getting in. i looked the manager Strongwoman right in the eye as i walked away and towards the locker room. i went in, and stayed in the sauna until bonnie raitt stopped singing in my mind. I came out, and some Strongwomen called me to the desk. they wanted a copy of my membership keychain card, but it was hooked to my keychain. i said to call the y, the number was right on the keycard.

i should have had a tape recorder, cuz i'm not sure the order everything happened.

i guess i started wandering around the y, looking around, upstairs and looking into every room. making a low-key spectacle of myself. then i went back into the locker room sauna (that's why i like this ymca, as the other ymcas have saunas in the pool area). i stayed in the sauna for an encore of miss raitt, and when i was in the locker room, ymca security started talking to me. he said it was odd that i kept going in the locker room and out and walking around like i was lost. i said i like the sauna, and when it gets too hot i take a break and cool off by walking around the y, before i go back in again. he said it was weird that i went in with my clothes on, i told him that i could get naked if he wanted me to. he kind of laughed it off, i was not being rude but more-less respectable, because he was kinda cute. and how i was hoping he'd say that he wanted me to get naked. :)

anyway, though i knew the y well, i agreed to a tour of the facility just to justify unfamiliarity as the reason i was walking around peering into rooms and stuff. i don't want to be transparent in my quest for attention or noterioty - do you spell that notoriety? hmn. so the cutie gave me a tour and apologized for asking for my license when i commented on being treated like a criminal at the ymca. i don't even know if they knew about my felony, but i am a lemon and you can read about it in my parody of u2's "felon". i mean, i am a felon and you can read about it in my parody of u2's "lemon".

so, i went into the sauna again, and the guy in the wheelchair who i always see there was there again. when i used to go, he was in there a lot and right when i came in then he left. i think i tried talking to him the very first time i saw him, him being in a wheelchair and me having been in one after my accident. anyway, he was talking with someone, that someone eventually left, and it was just me and him. i was waiting there hoping he'd leave so i wouldn't feel awkward leaving without saying anything. but he wasn't leaving, and i just left without saying anything. ha.

then i went home. mission accomplished. "i am nikki finn, and i will not be denied - i will know vengeance". "i will know vengeance".

my parody of whitney's "i'm every woman".

check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com , unless you're there now