blame it all on my youth, i know not one dude
so music, it has my ears
the phantom booth-toll, its' language took hold
i love to banter with talks i'd see there
and i saw the surprise when my hero of child-
hood prided and chanted "i'm gay"
i rolled my youth up, honey, lit up and mused
now dudes like to call me insane

so i've got friends in no places,
and i'm wishing now i'd not been crazy
i'd screw all day, but guys stay away
yeah, i know big-time social-cravings
never set foot out, because there's no rayzon (reason)
yeah, i've got friends in no places

and i just don't belong, so i'm getting strong
cuz heck, i've seen males as lords
pressing weights all night, it just saves my life
cuz i don't have sex anymore
hey, i didn't mean you're wrong, you sex-fiend,
to live for your satisfaction
or pride for your dire need to slide up backsiders
to each his own sin

and i've got friends in no places
and i'm wishing now i'd not been crazy
i'd screw all day, but guys stay away
yeah, i know big-time social-cravings
never set foot out, because there's no rayzon (reason)
yeah, i've got friends in no places

now, if garth's next line in the alternate version is "i bet you didn't know there's another verse to this song!"...

...then i bet i can get away with being lazy.


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