it started out just with the title, "if i only had the girth".  writing the third verse, the cute and hairy best buy tv-man became the inspiration.


if i only had the girth to sell you
then you'd so much have a drive to be my man
then i know we would be gay one evening
but that's all that i could have from any man

if i only had the words to tell you
if you only knew how hard it is to say
then my single life would fall and break, and
men i'd date although my bein's anti-gay

if i never find the balls to greet you
if you only smile and not say anything
well you know i wouldn't see a reason
and my sadness'd keep me quiet as i've been

life goes on and on, but in ninety-two, i'm lost
but if you try, my friend, i'm yours

if i only had the girth to sell you
then you'd so much have a drive to be my man
oh, must i know i'd be so hard to know you
and that's more than you would have - i get it, man


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