to whom it may concern:
though the giant eagle corporation does not seem to regard the letters
i write with any degree of seriousness, i am writing again to voice
another complaint - and you know that you can be sued for how your
store discriminates against handicapped people.
you have rearranged your store like you are as brain-damaged as i am,
putting the dairy section not next to any grocery-aisle...but after
about 4 or 5 non-grocery aisles right at the end of what seems to be
the drug store or bathroom section of your store.
i do not hate the police, in fact i have had a crush on one ever
since last summer. "suddenly, last summer" he boinked me with a
parking ticket or something, and ever since then i have been dreaming
of "the motels" - not because they sung the song, but because of the
secret rendezvous we could have had in "the motels" around here.
as i was saying, i do not hate police, but as obama called the
cambridge police "stupid," i will call giant eagle "stupid". i see
that i may be stupid, as well, not remembering giant eagle's
stupidity and actually searching for the milk aisle time after time.
but i am traumatically brain-injured, so i have an excuse.
i do not believe that i am being discriminated against on account of
my website, www.asassynation.com - mainly because i believe that the
only people who are stupid enough to read "assassination" and feel
threatened - are too poor to live in this area. though i guess
welfare-housing is everywhere - and with welfare-housing comes the
token porch-monkies - ie, africans smoking pot on their porches all
day long who have no ambition for self-reliance to get them off the
government's teat. i couldn't pull myself off michelle obama's
mammary glands if i could suckle them, i guess i can't blame anyone.
what strong-looking arms she has, but like the sands of the placebo...
so are the moot-points of our lives. testosterone trumps
i apologize for getting off-topic, what i am writing about is your
idiotic placement of the dairy aisle. and your harassment of brain-
injured idiots like myself who can never find it, being as out-of-
place as it is.
i call on you to move your milk aisle. it doesn't belong in the drug
store or bathroom section, milk should not be grouped in with
tampons and baby necessities just because they all relate to the
only real purpose of females. i understand how i just may be
overlooking the "politically correct" overcompensation handed to
females in the forms of "a woman can do anything a man can do"
and the female national "guardsman" who died of heat stroke in
arizona pardon me, that is a bigger slap in the face to feminists,
than the "slap in the face" that alanis morissette sung about.
well, i just wanted to let you know that you have "acted stupidly,"
putting your milk aisle where nobody would look for it. i am sure
that, after writing this letter, i will always know where to look
for it. you're taking the Strongwoman thing too far, first you have
special parking spaces as if they are retarded or disabled, then you
group milk in with all the female products - just to make them feel
special, right? how's about a big "yes we can," but try not to look
like a bunch of retarded invalids beating the sides of their hands on
their chests. tongues hanging out over their bottom lips.
check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com
, unless you're there now