some masculivoid on just sent me an email, "i want to play with you when i get into town".

you want to "play" with me?  i guess you're saying your mind would be as occupied by my naked body, as a little boy's would be by a tonka truck.

does my picture lead you to believe i would hold your sexual interest?  why can't females hold it, do men fill a sexual void in you that females simply cannot?

were you born this way? were you born with an understanding of femininity that keeps you from wanting to explore and discover it, were you born with a misunderstanding of masculinity?  did these cognitive or emotional voids just one day present themselves with no rhyme or reason, or has their place in your mind been earned?

in second grade and before, other boys were just boys.  in third grade, maybe forth grade, i started to realize that athletic boys were better than non-athletic boys.  maybe it was their popularity, maybe it was them not being picked last for teams and being safe from the embarrassment i felt.  maybe it was both, but it was either in 3rd or 4th grade that i got real itchy and had to keep rubbing myself on the bed until i came.  i have never known sexual attraction as anything but a longing to get closer to the untouchables.  you can't touch this.

"if you wanna believe there's nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitable taboo in another one, it's your loss"

(i made that quote up - must've been before 1997, since i remember showing it to stevanne in the annapolis head-injury place.

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