don't tell me i have no concept of reality, chastity bono! (and your genderivoid brethren!)

to whom it may concern:

i wrote the following letter as an essay to myself, trying to tell myself that to go ahead and schedule that sex-change operation would just be wrong. i am trying to learn why i should not feel this way, so that i would have no qualms about destroying the man god made and replacing that natural man with a fabricated woman. should i regard my gender as a part of who i am and go to a shrink to accept myself, or should i just treat a sex-change operation as something trivial - like a nosejob or a hair style? here follows the letter. please tell me what is wrong with the side of me that thinks this way.

i just saw chastity bono giving an interview regarding her sex change. "i've hated my body since puberty," she said. i took this as "i've hated myself since puberty," and that's just because humans are physical beings whose presence is...a body.

"i've hated my body since puberty," she said as she was justifying her decision to try to love herself by destroying herself and creating a new self. first there were nose-jobs, then came boob-jobs - and i won't tell you that i have never wanted to get a bigger and thicker penis. with all these self-augmenting surgeries becoming commonplace and accepted in today's culture, it's kind of expected for the sexually-confused individuals to consider getting surgery so that their bodies would conform to their feelings - rather than getting therapy so that their feelings would conform to the realism of their own realities*. self-altering operations such as nose-jobs and boob-jobs may not scream "i hate myself" as much as a self-destroying "sex change operation" does, but they are all born of self-dissatisfaction. still, the self-dissatisfaction had to be learned - "i've learned to hate my big nose because people laugh at it - i want a snall nose," "i've learned to hate my small boobs because they aren't ogled like dolly parton's - i want big boobs," "i've learned to hate my gender because i just don't feel it's the gender meant for me - i want a sex-change". feelings, nothing more than feelings. talk-therapy gets people comfortable with their feelings - with their big noses, with their small knockers, with their own gender.

surgery is not the answer for chastity bono's - or anyone else's - gender-dysfunction, but therapy is. one is born male or female, one's opinions of their own place in the world around them are not formed until their brains have developed enough to form opinions. therefore, the answer to the question "which came first, chastity's body-hatred or her body" would be "her body". the hatred of her body that she claims to have felt since puberty, then, is an opinion that had to be ingrained in her mind over time through interactions with others and through her own self-understandings.

self-love, self-acceptance and self-appreciation does not require self-alteration, it requires mind-alteration. it does not require a change of outer appearance and a change of body, it requires a change of self-image and a change of mind. and i am not "the man of my dreams" for no reason. i guess "chazz bono" has no longing for a man to make "him" complete, either, but at least i'm not a fabricated man.

my name is dylan, and this essay has been yet another "talk-therapy" session between myself and...myself. archives are available at, where thousands of my "talk-therapy" sessions have been posted since 1999 (in one form or another, in screenplay form or song parodies, in t-shirt form or bumper stickers, in essay form or cut-and-pasted gay chats).

* "i ain't too proud to beg" - tlc - 1992.

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