it's may 29th, kinda like my own personal memorial day

this song came on yesterday while i was swimming and i thought of simon. i tend to think that the bug spray is what made his pancreas go bad, i don't care what the vet says. was he licking it off alvin, or was he just licking alvin like they always lick each other? there were so many things i noticed over a few weeks - not being able to push himself through the door, not always jumping up on the couch, vomiting once or twice that last weekend, drinking a lot of water. i should have taken him to the vet when i first saw him drinking all that water. at the time i brought him to a vet, the vet didn't see any symptoms - just something with his intestine - so simon got pills. he got bad in a day or two, he died hours after getting to the emergency vet. i'll never know if it was my fault, i think it had to be.

my mind cries for simon. i'm sorry.

goodnight, my angel, time to close your eyes
i pray you're headed to a better place
i wish i'd known what you'd been telling me
i wish i'd known that you were dying slow-paced
i'm sorry i could never read you, but you would never moan
you'll never lose your home, no matter where you are,
you'll always be a part of me

goodnight, my angel, now it's time to sleep
and if i'll never see my dog, i'll pray
remember all the dogs, my gang of three
i'll be remembering you ev'ry day
it's like you're cold and far from home, son
you'll not feel home's safety
i know you're not feeling what i would say you are
you'll always be not home with me

goodnight, my angel, now your life's ending
nothing's as wonderful as life with three
someday your brothers will die, and if i can't let go tonight
then when they're gone, i won't always see the heart of three (alt: always be a heart that bleeds)

someday we'll all be gone, but lullabies go on and on
they never die, that's how you and i will be
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