i judge myself

i was about to email someone i'd been chatting with, i was going to say i could meet him for lunch. as i was writing the first sentence, i looked at the map and saw it'd take 30 minutes to get where i said i'd meet him. then i pictured myself meeting a stranger - what would i be looking for, we'd meet and have lunch and then i'd be back home doing what i do every day. meeting anybody would be a filler, but i rarely have voids for people that i want filled. if i do long for company, it's a matter of luther vandross and "here and now," meaning the void would be gone if i were to get in my car and drive or even do anything else.

meeting people for lunch, meeting people for anything, it's a people-addiction and i'm not that much an addict. i am a moron for entertaining the idea of "meeting," and i am looking at myself with a critical eye and judging myself. people...people who meet people...are just, in the words of bruce springsteen, "tired and bored with myself" (themselves).

i judge myself, i call me a dummy when i be out to bond with some buddy
i've yearned for health, tried college school-ties, rea-lized for better health i could do with some writing

i don't want friends who've not been met - when i think "go out, dude," i judge myself
ohohoh, i just want self-made self-contents (stay home, stay home, stay home)

for some fun, you race to go clubbing - for some fun, you date at night
when i am down, i won't be trav'ling - my noggin may suffice
my home's my life, writing is alluring - swim, write or drive - it's all good, nothin' boring
a fool gets glee from some club miles north, ooh, i get down with the glee i do get being more cool

i don't want anyone but self, when i think "go out, dude" i judge myself
ohohoh, i don't want friends so discontent

i got cool, i don't want friends who aren't content
so when i think "go out, dude," i judge myself
ooh, ooh, oohohh

i don't want friends who aren't content, yes, i think they're out to make insta-friends
ohohoh, i have got my self-made self-contents...
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