i was in the bathroom, touching my balls as i sat on the toilet, thinking of how i don't want to "hookup" because it takes time away from me. i've recently changed from listening to talk radio as i'm working on the computer, to listening to a playlist of "the nanny" as the window is minimized. as i was in the bathroom, i heard the episode with celine dion when she was singing "it's all coming back to me now," and i thought "it's all just a fantasy now," with regards to sex.

there's no night when i'd wish to get blown
if i wanted boner-sex, if i lusted for this,
i'd pounce upon my pillow

there's no lay when i'd cum and feel cool
when all the semen will come if i'd fuck dudes or my
mind's sight, cuz nothing's better

i'd give my life to jizz with william and his friends
then my damned erection flares, semen shoots out
and embarrassment is heavy due to my apparent haze

cuz when i cum, it's no big...thing, it don't feel so fab
i just have to emit cum, his hole does not flatter me
when i cum, i won't miss men who'd blow me cuz that
is just hardly supreme to what's all in my fantasy
it's all just a scam...all just a fantasy now

there are boners to blow when there are athletes in sight
there's no dream-guy ever in my bed because i'm homebound for life
there are righteous men i pleasure in,
the brawny men aren't lords who lack...gamy playthings

so i'll miss all of this with fit dude's image/my hand
sex was hot long ago, but it's all just a fantasy
if dudes' cocks are condi-tioned by dudes' penises now,
then it's said long ago lust was born, not impressed by things
i'm so hard for fit misters, what strong men impressed on me
i've liked hairy men strong and it scorns my own man-esteem now

and it's all just a scam

there were toned, sexy men i'd want so i'd
bed whoever i'd find who'd sperm me, i just turned to being perv
and such a creeper

there were sounds heard that just said "constipate"
and a bold, round ass was spoutin' dung so rancid
that the lust was gone forever

tough dudes are mysteries, psyched my passions as a boy
and i hated being scrawny and i found
that i'm ever gay if men could once be slighting self-respect

but if i'm sucking a dick or if i'm wishing for that
then i'll knock on my bone with some porno-type magazine
if dudes' butts come with shit and if guys stink on their sacs
it's not hot, it's just grim, so it's all kept in fantasy
it's all just a scam, it's all a fantasy now

there are boners to blow when there are athletes in sight
there's no dream-guy ever in my bed because i'm homebound for life
there are righteous men i pleasure in,
the brawny men aren't lords who lack...gamy, gamy playthings

when i'm sucking a dick and when i go for your sac
disgust's all that it is, so it's all kept in fantasy
when i need to emit semen, i'll feed off a mag
and i'll see what gets off, and see not dung or damp testes
impressed by the manly things, porn's been impressed on me
like men manly with brawn - but it's porn cuz a man's too real now

if you submit to a dick like mine submits to mike's ass
be of kids more than men when adoring our mantasies
when you see men naked and then try breeding his ass
please see lust as a harmed esteem, scorning your man-esteem
impressed by the manly things, 'born gay's a fantasy
i can barely recall, but it's all from my past - my needs now

(it's all in my fantasies now)
and when i'm kissing a dick
(it's born of identity now)
and when i fuck your pink ass
(it's all insufficiency now)
when i'm truly remiss
(it's born of no 'dentity now)
then kiss me...
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