i was watching my "bed-humping" video that i posted on many sites as a method of advertising the url that is shown at the bottom of the video throughout the video.

toonaughtyforyoutube.com

i thought of how my mom seems to be distancing herself from me, and i thought that maybe the reason is either the video or the fact that i'm now visible in the the search engines (i have removed a specific script that evidently stopped the googlebot).

this is a billy joel song, damn it. picture it: nashville, 1998, i was hanging around with marty who i met at the adult bookstore. he maintained it being a garth brooks song, "garth made it popular," he said.

well, i'm shameless when it comes to what i do
my cool web must be in public's view, i must get hits like the tosh
and i'm manic just to get some web-esteem, oh, maybe i've no sense to see
what may very well be wrong

uh-oh, i'm not a man who's ever been
into murder, into hurting the "strong" womb-en
there's no brain-eating, no hannibal-pride
but i'm truly dude who has to psyche their brains, yes

gay things might feel half a-scared every time they read my jagged mail
might go doubt my sanity
cuz my way is formed from every thought he'd write
oh, like cujo, it, the running guy - writing text like stephen king

you see, to form a psyche/make them come 'round,
what i'd do is e-threats, but i've truly slowed down
i would talk like crazy men, norman bates, lecter too
just for chance that my web comes-to

i have web of sex, web of lust, and it's much a home of bashing
i work so hard on songs i write, it shows
and my na...ked self-pictures may hurt my family
cuz the porn-world's bad and tragic, true, i've ever had prince-lust since school

i'm shameless!

i know childhood-esteem was for miss madge, the whore,
not straight or godly or a kid who's not gone wrong
my head, it saw everything i called greatness
so i'll never be that much diff'rent

it's outta my hands, i'm shameless!
i don't have the power now to slightly alter any vow,
cuz i'm modeling my roles
i'm shameless, shameful to society who would never in the nude be seen
by the population, oh...i'm shameless!
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