this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
back to the menu
dear sir or vagina:

questions regarding "susan koman for the cure"

i have been surfing around on the internet with my big-screen "web tv" 11 feet in front of me, and i found a "susan koman rape for the cure" graphic. needless to say, i raced to my notepad and started writing this letter of interest in your PINK cause. now, i understand how breast cancer victims must be pretty eager to cure their disease without a pair of "pink scissors"...without the likes of hannibal lecter chopping their breasts off and eating them for dinner, but rape? i mean, RAPE? take it from the organizer of, there are very few men who'd take an interest in becoming rapists. rape is such a taboo in today's society, nobody appreciates it and i am not sure you will have much luck finding men to sign up for your fundraiser. especially because most men are sick and tired of breast cancer fundraisers - they are sick and tired of hearing PINK this and PINK that, when little focus is on prostate cancer.

regardless, i will say that i would like to sign up for any "rape for the cure" fundraiser. so, if you can tell me when one will be and where it is located, i will be there. penis cocked and erect. is it the victims of breast cancer who will be raped, and will the wombn just be standing around as if it's "just another day" - to take a song that was popular when i graduated high school. will they be anticipating rape, i guess they'd have to be if they signed up for it, but will they put up a fight just to give credence to "a woman can do anything a man can do"? i guess the girls putting up a fight just won't be worth the embarrassment that the onlookers would feel, once the wombs have been taken down and given the "hot beef injection" - to take a quote from an old movie called the breakfast club.

honestly, i would have never conceived of a fundraiser like this actually taking place. "rape for the cure," it is so elementally righteous and legitimate - what a great idea. i am so looking forward to finding out where and when one is. oh - will it take place in public, like at a mall, or would such a woman-belittling function have to take place in private so that the public's notion of Strongwoman will remain uncompromised? "a woman can do anything a man can do" is an affirmation that must not be mocked in public. i realize that.

i am also wondering if gay "men" would be eligible to participate in the "susan koman rape for the cure," since i am gay and i will consider sex with wombn because i really care about raising money to cure breast cancer. i am gay, i am a masculivoid and curious of masculinity - i don't psyche for femininity so i won't be raping for any kind of sexual pleasure. i will do it for the principle - you see, i understand how important mammary (mommary) glands are. they must be kept disease-free, the white milk that fountains out of the breasts is as necessary for babies as the red blood that leaks out of the cunt is necessary for...well, let's just say "cannibals". and the pink, the very PINK, that these two "female leaks" make when mixed together, it just says "i am wombn, hear me roar".

speaking of menstruation, can i be assured that none of the wombn volunteers will be "on the rag" or bloody inside their penis-receptacles? i will react like norman bates: "oh god, mother! blood! blood!" - yuck. that is disgusting - my cannibalistic tendencies have been gone for a while.

a little confessional: i used to have so much animosity toward wombn - but I PROMISE that i won't "rape for the cure" with that animosity. i am a lover, not a fighter. i just used to be so disgusted with wombn because they're out there with their "anything a man can do" campaign to legitimize their mental gender-dysfunction, when all the "men vs wombn" fitness competitions at the ymca are cardio. when military requirements are compromised just for the girls. when college sports must have two teams for one sport just to include the gender that "can do anything a man can do".

oh, have you seen the physical requirements for female police officers - it's like the special olympics, all these compensations just to give the wombn a feeling of equality. that is the reason why i was once filled with animosity towards wombn. i am not anymore, i had been in a mental institution in nashville years ago and i have gotten over these feelings since then - i will be sure to "rape for the cure" with no hatred in my heart. just as there is no hatred in white-on-white murder cases - that ain't no "hate crime".

and is it really rape if your very fundraiser is called "rape for the cure," if the wombn knew they were signing up to be "raped"? "rape for the cure" is kind of a misleading title for your fundraiser, if i may be so bold. it's not rape if the womb is willing, it's lip-service to get men signed up. lip-service. lip-service like "strong woman" and "a woman can do anything a man can do". lip-service like saying "there's nothing wrong with being gay" to appease the mental-midget whose own insufficiently masculine being leaves him longing for a man in his life. lip-service. i learned the word "placebo," 23 years ago, while reading a book by stephen king called IT.

well, what a whirlwind of excitement i have been overtaken with. "rape for the cure," i have never seen anything like it - i hope i will see more and more of it. if you could just answer the questions asked in this letter, it'd be appreciated. at least the when and where of your "rape for the cure" fundraiser. i will race right to it.


ps, will there be "parking for pregnant women" at your fundraiser? i may bring a pregnant friend to watch me in action, she's my best friend because i am gay and i don't really have much masculine gender-identity loaded in the operating system that is my brain. but she's just a girl, so she needs special compensations when she has an extra seven pounds to haul around. will there be "parking for pregnant women" at your fundraiser, just for the "anything a man can do" crowd?