people from the del val who dylan terreri (jagged little dyl) has seen around at delaware valley regional high school

one addition from the year 2020
in 2020, i wrote this letter to the school that jay durner teaches at:

as a former student of jay durner, i can honestly say that i don't believe he has any right to be around students, and that your school should, at most, fire him, and at the very least start an investigation into his abusive tendencies.

i am a victim of his endless abuse and bullying, i know the "mr. hyde" who jay durner is when his predominate persona of the upstanding "dr. jekyll" is not around, and i feel that i must warn anyone who is putting him around children. it was nearly a decade ago when i emailed the people at the children's hospital where my sister, laurel was employed, and when i told them of the abuse to my gender-identity which laurel caused during my youth by refusing to refer to me as a boy and instead calling me a "grit," which was a combination of a "girl" and an "it". i was concerned for the harm she could cause the children at the hospital, and i am writing this email because i am concerned that jay durner is still having his way with children's minds.

i was "traumatically brain-injured" in 1990, and jay durner had made my 1991-1992 senior year at delaware valley regional high school miserable enough for me to walk out and to never return when i had only weeks before graduation.

after i was brain-damaged in a car-accident during the summer of 1990, i went back to school in january of 1991 for a half-day on crutches. i don't remember any abuse given to me by jay durner until i started my senior-year in september of 1991. actually, come to think of it, the abuse started after i had quit his marching-band.

i'm getting ahead of myself, so i'll give a brief history. i don't think i knew anything about him until i tried out for "hello, dolly" in january of my freshman-year. he gave me a small role in that 1989 musical, and i had joined his band while i was involved in his play. i don't think i had gotten to really become acquainted with him until the summer after freshman year, when i was in his band-camp.

sophomore year, 1989-1990 came around and i was in his band. i tried out for his 1990 musical, "cabaret," and got the role of the emcee, so i had worked a lot with him. my car-accident happened in june 1990, i was in the hospital when everyone else was in his band-camp, and i didn't go back to school until january. having gotten a brain-injury, i have little memory of my junior half-year, but it wasn't until after i quit his marching-band during my senior-year that he started to pick on and bully me.

"i won't give you a part in this year's musical if you end up quitting marching-band," is what i remember him saying to me. of course, this really hit me hard, because i so looked forward to being in the plays that my high-school put on. i remember feeling like he was breaking my heart. actually, it really seemed that he was being spiteful to tell me that i wouldn't get a part in the musical, and what he did during the year after i graduated lends itself to the spiteful person that he is. i will get to that later.

being in his "music appreciation" class obviously didn't help me, either, and of course he failed me. i probably didn't earn any passing-grade, but his attitude towards me through the year was probably why he didn't join the other teachers and at least give me a D. i probably would not have had the school's social-worker deliver me a diploma if it was up to his spite towards me and my disabled brain, but i got my diploma.

he liked to mock me, and he did it a lot. especially when i got into my "nonconformist" phase during my senior year. i remember his scorning tone when he made his voice as nasal as mine was and used it to mock my state-of-mind by imitating me in a meek and nasal tone. i still hear his belittling tone when he said, "i'm a non-conformist". jay durner was a teacher, yet he was mocking a student in this manner! a student with a disability, no less!

as a teacher, his mockery of me, a high-school loser, made me unhappy. as an adult, i have thought to myself that jay durner never matured past an adolescent's mind-set, kind of like how my neuropsychologist told me that my brain-damage would always keep my state-of-mind at an adolescent's level. i have come to realize that jay durner was probably bullied in high-school for either having a limp wrist (and everything which goes along with one) or for being a band-geek. i have come to realize that the torment he was put through in high-school was probably his justification for his bullying of me.

during my senior-year, i did have somewhat of an ego, i did think the world of myself, and that was a defense-mechanism i employed as a way to shield me from my disabilities...to keep my self-respect in-tact. it was probably because of my self-righteous attitude that jay durner's teenaged mind-set was given reason to think that it was his job to put me in my place. i had never been picked on in high-school by anyone except the band-director, jay durner.

also, to better describe his spiteful bullying, i must bring this up: ever since i was a freshman, i had wanted him to do the musical "grease". he seemed not to want to, though i had brought it up so many times while i was in high school. the year after i graduated is when he chose "grease" as the year's musical, and my brain-injury couldn't understand why he'd do such a thing. it later dawned on me that his putting on "grease" after i graduated was his way of saying "fuck you" to me. i am reminded of jewel's hit-song called "foolish games," and jay durner is one who plays them. i'm trying to provide insight into his life, so that any school which may employ him can be warned, and so that no students he works with are harmed as he harmed me.

in my opinion, his antics towards me as a brain-damaged student is why i am the way i am today. i relate to people as if they are bullying me, just as jay durner bullied me. i look in my rear-view mirror and think that the people behind me are bullying me, and so i have to speed up because i think they think that i am driving too slowly. i think peoples' main motivation is to laugh at and mock me, and that's why i yelled at the walmart-worker who had a smile on her face when she told me that what i was asking for was unavailable. the damage that jay durner did to my brain-damaged existence is unable to be repaired, and i just wanted his employer to know about the kind of person he is and why he should not be put around young minds unless he gets some re-education.

also, i feel i must bring "andy's beach" up. after my brain-injury and after i was rehabilitated enough to use my hands correctly, i had been writing a play called "andy's beach". i was "andy," and the characters were people i hung around with from high-school. i guess i started writing it because i missed my pre-injury days and i wanted them back. being written when i had a relatively new brain-injury, it was kind of nonsensical, but i thought it was great. after i graduated, i brought jay durner the play to ask if he'd do it as the musical (there were plenty of popular songs from 1989-1990 in it). a few days later when i went to his office at school to get the play back, it was at the front of his desk as if he was showing it to his students and having a big laugh at my expense. i didn't ask him why it was in a position for anyone to read it, because i already feared that he was showing it to people and laughing at me, but i'm sure that his bullying nature and his lack of empathy was more than inclined to be showing it to his students and to other teachers.

as a concerned citizen, i am writing this email so that the "mr. hyde" inside of jay durner's upstanding personality can be learned about by his employer, so that any psychological harm being done to any more of his students may be prevented. it is not my or anyone else's place to forgive or forget about past abusers, and i am pleading with any school which employs him to be warned that his students may be exposed to the "mr. hyde" who has destroyed my trust of people.

dylan j terreri




the rest is the original text i wrote in 2013

i dream of durner.

not really, though i was somewhat attracted to him in high school. my senior year, when we were walking through the "secret" back-hallway from a door in one of the school's hallways to the instrument closet, i had a vision of making out with him. ha.

mr. durner was the band director. he directed the musicals. i was in hello, dolly as a dancing waiter and had a small role as the judge...i joined the band later my freshman year, trying to emulate charles king and his trumpet-playing abilities, and joined the marching band for the next year. at band camp for marching band, i sung "hello, dolly" in front of the camp as an "initiation" into band - i sung a few lines in high falsetto (which everyone cracked up at during the practices for the play). maybe durner got the idea to cast me as the master of ceremonies in cabaret from that. maybe i'm why he did cabaret the following year.

i didn't like practicing in front of people, singing in front of people during the practices, so a nasal "there's people here" is how he and eugene giancamilli (the music director) mocked me. it was all in fun. after my brain-trauma, my senior year, i took a stupid "music appreciation" class with mr. durner. my senior year was a product of my brain-trauma, i was on a constant "pride parade" because i felt so little and i wanted to be big. no comment from the gay peanut- gallery. :)

oh, during that class i guess i got mad or something and i went into the instrument closet. i expected someone to come in to get me, so i started masturbating. ha. nobody came in, i guess mr. durner told them not to.

that's my blurb about jay durner, he was called "the fat man" by the band people. oops, i forgot to mention that he told me that he was not going to put me in the musical if i quit marching band - he said that my senior year.

check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com , unless you're there now
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