this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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dear sir or vagina:

from the desk of

regarding new sewickley township and public safety:

the condition of your roads is ATROCIOUS. why is there so much gravel at the intersections of freedom/mcelhaney and mcelhaney/kaitlin? the gravel makes the road like a sheet of ice that has made my car slide and spin (from a total stop) on more than one occasion.

just because slippy-slidey gravel was not the cause of the accident which threw me through the windshield and onto the pavement in 1990 (ending my sophomore year with a "traumatic brain-injury" and giving me an entire summer-vacation spent in and out of coma in two different hospitals), doesn't mean that gravel would not be able to put me (or anyone else) in the hospital. half of me feels like this gravel was put there on purpose and out of spite, just to get me into a tailspin and into an accident.. i don't know who would have ordered such a thing, but (given the spiteful attitudes of the gender of wannabees) i tend to think that i am the victim of sexism. i'm sure that there are many spiteful members of the lesser gender who hate being short enough to always be looking up to men (enter high-heeled shoes), but my pointing out the deficiencies of the whole "Strongwoman" campaign - whether on bumper-stickers or on my website of (homo)sexual assault or in letters of complaint to corporations - is no reason for any county or township to litter an end of a road with gravel in an effort to endanger my life.

it's not mens' fault that we are of the taller and broader and stronger gender, and men are not to blame for how the lesser gender deals with being pipsqueaks. the world would be a more honest place if the little females would just ACCEPT who they are in relation to men, but instead of embracing self-acceptance and self-love...they're all about self-denial. it's like they're too blinded by their own self-importance to see that feminine-inferiority is the reason for gender-based sports teams and gender-based military requirements...not to mention gender-based hot dog eating competitions. they're too blinded by their own self-importance to realize that they bleed eggs and spout milk because they were designed to be mothers, it's like they do their best to ignore adolescence and the meaning of their own widening hips versus young mens' widening shoulders. they weren't designed to "protect and serve" anything but lunch. well, i guess their breasts are milk-faucets, but that's a part of lunch.

whichever Strongwoman (or Strongwoman-sympathizer) is responsible for the gravel which always gives my car a tailspin, well, it is my opinion that the womb (or wombn-sympathizer) should be fired and bludgeoned with a waffle-iron by the governor. especially because the Strongwoman who is responsible for the gravel is endangering other peoples' lives by trying to endanger MY life. i have superpowers, but i take issue with anyone endangering the lives of common men. oh, if you don't believe that i have superpowers, why don't you take a look at my discharge papers? i was expected to die, my parents were told that i would either die or be institutionalized for the rest of my life, and i have superpowers because i am a functioning member of society...despite the dismal prognosis of the doctors. the discharge papers are at and\

back to my issue with the roads: i can't be sure that the gravel which turned an intersection into what is essentially a "slip and slide" was intentionally put there to endanger my life, but it's not just my life that is endangered. everyone's life is endangered - if i'm capable of getting into a tailspin then it's not unheard of that anyone else would get into one. can you imagine if another car was coming - the gravel-infested intersection of kaitlin and mcelhaney is a BUS STOP, what if a school bus was coming?! what would have happened if my tailspin had made me crash into a bus full of innocent lives - what would have happened if one of those innocent lives was injured OR EVEN KILLED because of the impact? i'll tell you just what would have happened - i would have never again been able to live with myself or to enjoy life...because i would have had my license taken away from me.

if the gravel at the intersection of mcelhaney/kaitlin would ever put me into a tail-spin and cause my large, gas-guzzling suv to hit a school-bus or to injure little kids, how would i live with myself if i lost my license and the ability to drive? i don't know why loose gravel is placed before a stop sign, but the gravel needs to be removed because it makes the road unsafe.

i hate to be a broken record, but i take issue with the gravel because it has frightened me by putting me into a tail-spin. "twice". which actually reminds me of something that paul finch said about stifler's mom, but i don't want to be put into a tail-spin because a tail-spin might make my car hit a bus and hurt some kids - that would absolutely RUIN my perfect driving record and it would take my license away. i NEED the ability to drive. i need it so much that i obey the speed-limit - unlike most of the drivers on roads around pittsburgh (especially freedom road). i'm sure that they feel the "need for speed" because they're all rushing home to turn on a steelers' game and to watch other people accomplish things (like they themselves are a bunch of vicarious voyeurs who, every day, are unable to feel like they've accomplished something worthwhile). now, i may wear a "cleveland browns" cap to mock the dullards of pittsburgh whose lives are dictated by a football-schedule, i may wear a t-shirt with a gun on it to mock society in general, i may smoke electronic cigarettes for the same reason, but i won't speed for any reason. i won't speed as a means to overcompensate for my small dick, i don't even own my big explorer for that reason. i won't speed to prove myself "better than" anyone else, and i won't speed to taunt other people. i may use what i drive to taunt people, but i don't do it by speeding. the reason i bought a 15 year-old, gas-guzzling "suv" in 2011 is because i didn't want to spend a lot of money to piss people off...and the gas-guzzling "suv" seems to slap environmentalists (and other supporters of the "first quack president") quite squarely in the face.

wrapping up, i hope that the gravel on mcelhandy/kaitlin and mcelhaney/freedom is soon removed. not for my sake, being that i already know it's there, but for the sake of other drivers who may not know of it. other drivers may crash into a school-bus and be overcome with so much sorrow and regret when their license is taken away from them.

mr. dylan terreri, i
dr. sheldon cooper, ii
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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ps: i guess that my caring all about what would happen to me if i were to crash into a school-bus, well, that would make some people angry with me. this is simply anti-gay bigotry, and anyone who is angry with me for regarding my life as more important than a bunch of toddlers' lives should be exposed for their anti-gay attitudes and ideals. "you can't love anyone if you don't love yourself," i'm sure we've all heard that quote. well, what can be expected from any male who doesn't love and respect his own state of gender - and who searches for the man of his dreams in someone else? i'll tell you what can be expected - the gay "man" won't be able to love anyone simply because he doesn't love himself (being that he doesn't regard himself as man enough to BE his man), and therefore the masculivoid shouldn't be expected to have the capacity to love and respect anyone hurt by his tail-spin.

therefore, why should i be concerned with anything but how crashing into a bus (due to the township's negligence) would affect ME?

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