this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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dear sir or vagina:

i just saw a headline on google when i (yet again) went searching for the ranking of my gay metropolis known as the headline was "homophobic? maybe you're gay".

i saw this headline and i thought, "huh," then i stopped for a minute and basically had a "eureka!" moment. i knew that it was just about time that i really started to question myself and the reasons why i do the things that i do. starting on a quest to find my true identity, i came up with little google-headlines in the image of the thing that made me go "huh".

christian? maybe you're a satanist

dieter? maybe you really wanna be fat

pop singer? maybe you're chris gaines' other half

x-box one fan? maybe you're into ps4

die-hard windows-user? try apple

if you hate something, then it's obviously because you're at war with its presence within yourself! take a cue from chastity bono - embrace what you're not, cultivate it with drugs and hormones and lies to yourself (oh, and therapy to regard those lies as truths). do it until you can fool yourself and those around you! start by getting away from your computer and the latest flavor of windows, try trick-or-treating on halloween as you're dressed up as steve jobs. dress as garth brooks if you're into pop music. dress as chastity bono if you're a legitimate christian. dress as a man if you're an egg-bleeder.

after halloween, if you're really serious about realizing your true identity, don't stop dressing up. heck, get a tattoo of apple's "think different" logo, wear a cowboy hat and boots, wear fish-net stockings and a cone-bra, make halloween a daily event. be like chastity bono - get some operations and wear your costume 24 hours a day!

(insert nanny fine's nasal laugh)

check out my site, , unless you're there now