this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
back to the menu
dear sir or vagina:

to starbucks, wexford:

before i get to my formal complaint of the racism which i have experienced today at starbucks, let me give a synopsis of my trip to starbucks:

there i was, at a gym not two miles from the starbucks in wexford. as usual, i was "running on empty" and i went to the nearest gas station (which is outside of the complex that starbucks is in). i got gas and then i went to starbucks for a coffee. there usually are way too many people waiting for overpriced coffee, i usually get one look at the line and i turn around and leave, but today there were not too many people and i was prepared to get my coffee. i particularly like "awake" tea, though the price is unjustified as madonna's love is nowadays. starbucks must be making a "pretty penny," if i may use the title of a song by stone temple pilots...who, actually, expressed the homosexual masculivoid's (dare i say "man's") mind-set in a lyric from a song called "dead and bloated" - "i am trampled under sole of another man's shoe, guess i walked too softly". stone temple pilots did have a lot of homosexual references on their first record, another one is "i'm half the man i used to be". it kind of sounds to me like scott weiland was coming to terms with his own curiosity of men (or the lackluster sense of masculine esteem/identity that would have created such a void for masculinity). come to think of it, "sex type thing" is a song about the rape of a vagina, hmn, i bet i have a lot in common with scott weiland since we both write songs about the same damned things.

that sounds like kelly clarkson.

hmn, i seem to have gone off on a tangent sometime after mentioning the price of your "awake" tea being as unjustified as madonna's love is nowadays. let me continue on that thought: i was not "wanting, needing, waiting" for this tea...i was not "yearning, burning" for this tea...i was not "hoping, praying" for this tea - but since i was getting gas 100 feet away from starbucks, i thought that my getting overpriced tea at starbucks would be justified.

the young man who took my order was very polite and EXTREMELY handsome, he had the mannerisms of someone i remember from high school named chris hartshorne. just the mannerisms, though, because the clerk was drop-dead GORGEOUS and i don't remember chris to be such a studmuffin. anyway, i am almost 100% sure that the two other workers were men. i am not totally sure, this is because i didn't get a look at their faces before they went into the back. like neneh cherry's "buffalo stance," men just seem to have a certain stance about them...not an aura, really, but something distinguishable from the corner of one's eye that lets one know that one is safe from the people i have come to regard as "vaginas".

i bring this up because, like one of the last letters of praise i wrote to the starbucks at the wexford exit of i-79, i must congratulate starbucks for hiring men to rape the lesser gender. it's about time that rape is condoned and accepted, it is about time and it is long overdue . i'm not talking about physical rape, mind you, i'm talking about rape of the sexism that is everywhere nowadays. sexism in the form of all-female staffs at 1) the green valley veterinary hospital in new brighton, and 2) pure athletex (the gym that's not two miles from starbucks). i guess it does no good to name the businesses which are guilty of sexism with regards to their "vaginas only" hiring practices, mainly because the "vaginas only" hiring practices are so common. i guess this is due to groups like the National Organization for Vaginas (Wombn). whose activism which is done by all women needs to be raped. please don't misread that sentence, it may say "all women needs to be raped," but it does NOT suggest that all women need to be raped. it does NOT suggest that ALL WOMEN NEED TO BE RAPED, and it says NOTHING about womens' monthly egg-bleed hinting at the undeniable role of every female in existence (not to mention the role of their milk-jugs). it merely says that the pro-vagina (pro-woman) ACTIVISM of vaginas from coast to coast is what needs to be raped.

i believe that activism done by all vaginas needs to be raped. this is because vaginas complain and file lawsuits over the slightest implication of sexism, while they are guilty of the same damned thing. hmn, that sounds like a kelly clarkson song. anyway, vaginas (feminists, in this case) are unabashed sexists because they are unabashed feminists. i don't need to do any word-research to say that "feminism" is synonymous with "sexism," when "femin" regards the female gender or the female sex. femin-ism, sex-ism. feminism is female gender-ism, if you will, and "gender" is as synonymous with "sex" as "masculivoids" is synonymous with "men who stare wide-eyed and gaping-mouthed at other men". now, just as gender-ism equals sex-ism, female gender-ism equals sex-ism. therefore, feminism equals sexism.

anyway, i'm glad to see that starbucks is still not guilty of a workforce representative of the "all vagina" standard that exists today. let me proceed to get to my formal complaint:

i don't know what kind of racist games that starbucks is pulling, but there i was at the counter and using 3-5 straws to get enough coffee out of my cup so that i would have room to cool it off with a heap of milk from the jugs ON the counter (again, only men were behind the counter so there were no milk-jugs behind the counter), when i took a bottle of sweetener. this sweetener was brown, it may have said "chocolate" on it, but right at the moment i wanted to be rid of the unpure "chocolate" sweetener and grab the pure white sugar, i saw an african walk up next to me to tend to her coffee or tea. i am not lying, this actually happened right as i was favoring pure white sugar over unpure negro sweetener. what the hell was i supposed to do, i always feel so guilty with my racist ideals being so apparent to a negro. sure, racism runs rampant on my website (, but i don't want to insult black people face-to-face. i mean, i'm sure they get enough insults from themselves - i'm sure that they are insulted enough by their reliance on programs like "affirmative action" to get their less-qualified existences into colleges. like gender-based military requirements separating the men from the pipsqueaks, the departments of admissions at colleges from coast to coast are MANDATED to be race-based for the same damned thing. to accommodate the lesser race. did i just bring kelly clarkson into my letter again?

whatever the case, the fact remains that vaginas get into the military with less being required of them because they have lesser abilities which do not compare to the greater gender. the fact remains that negroes get into colleges with less being required of them because they...dare i say it, but if a monkey needs programs like "affirmative action" for help getting into college then the monkey probably doesn't belong in college. to continue, mostly all of my "corneal specialists" were asian or - hmn, dr. orlin had a bit of an accent, but i'm not sure about his nationality. anyway, NONE of my corneal specialists were black. i have been seeing an abundance of surgeons for everything from my eye to my leg to my foot to my brain - ever since i was comatose from a car-wreck in 1990 - and none of these surgeons were black. surgeons in allentown, philadelphia, nashville, pittsburgh, atlanta. none were black. sure, there was a negro working at the "center for neuro-rehab" in annapolis - but any yahoo with a year or two of college can be a therapist. even ME - i could be the rapist, the rapy is merely therapy and is nothing requiring a phd. the fact remains: i have not had any black surgeons - even in philadelphia - this is because "affirmative action" can only get unqualified people into college - it can't keep unqualified people in jobs. er, well look at the president, i guess "affirmative action" can't keep unqualified surgeons in jobs which are meant to save peoples' lives.

i can understand how starbucks meant nothing racist by making people favor a bottle of white sugar over a bottle of negro "chocolate" sweetener (or vice-versa), i can understand how i may be complaining about the reality of different-colored sweeteners, but when vaginas complain about the reality of man-dominated sports teams (and then one of them tries out for the nfl and fails miserably), well that gives me the right to likewise complain about reality. i will complain about starbucks making people show favoritism between a white sweetener and a negro sweetener (i say "negro" as a happy medium, because i don't think the sweetener was actual "brown sugar"...and i have never heard of "black sugar").

in closing, let me quote genesis (the group, not the first chapter of the bible) and say that this is the world we live in. vaginas complain about everything that makes them members of the lackluster gender, from lesser height to lesser width to lesser weight to lesser stomach-size to lesser sex-drive to lesser strength-level; i have grown accustomed to people complaining about reality and trying to change reality (or at least trying to change peoples' conceptions of reality - not a day goes by when i don't hear this line: "a woman can do anything a man can do"), so i am therefore JUSTIFIED in complaining about nonexistent racism at starbucks and the color of chocolate sweetener versus the color of pure white sugar.

mr. dylan terreri, i
dr. sheldon cooper, ii
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna

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