this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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dear sir or vagina:

, regarding booster-seats for vaginas who choose to be driving a car:

as the webmaster of, i must make my complaints known. i am afraid for my life when i see a car in front of me which seemingly has nobody driving it. i fear that the driver has been taken to heaven in a rapture, and i fear that there is nobody driving the car. i fear for my life, not only because the rapture ignored me...but because there is nobody driving the car in front of me. i fear that the car going to swerve, it's going to crash, and i don't want to be the one to die when a rapture has taken place and i'm still on earth.

now, if i pass a car which i thought nobody was driving, i do see that the driver is a member of the little gender, the shorter gender, the smaller gender. it is for this reason that i believe in mandating booster-seats for all of the wombn and the vaginas of the world. if they're driving a car, the vaginas must be seen by the people in back of them - if they're too pipsqueak-esque for their heads to hover over the seat then the vaginas NEED a booster seat...or a man in the car, since men are tall enough to be seen through the back window. for crying out loud, how do vaginas see over the steering-wheel when i have seen some vaginas not much taller than their 8 year-old children? i relate vaginas who drive automobiles to the end of "ferris bueller's day off," when tom bueller is stuck behind an old lady whose head barely reaches the steering-wheel and who is swerving all around while driving way too slowly.

also, it is not just for the safety of the smaller, lackluster gender that booster-seats should be mandated. as i have stated, anyone driving behind a car with seemingly nobody inside of it is apt to freak-out and possibly cause a wreck. now, if the vagina is driving her man around then i'm not worried about anything (except for the vagina's delusions of gender-equality/identity), mainly because if i see a man's head hovering above the passenger's seat then i'm safe to assume that there is someone driving the car. the delusions i am worried about, well, they are all about the kind of people that children will become after being experienced to little vaginas who drive their husbands around in the family car as if to appear as more "in control" than the bigger/taller/stronger gender. to further my point of masculine superority and to relate it to something as human as sex, i will say that it's not up to the wombn to end sex. sex does not and cannot happen unless a man's penis is hard, it's not up to the wombn and a wombn is not to be "in control". a wombn is to BE controlled. men rape vaginas because men are in control. as for the vagina, well, unless a man is erect then no justifiable rape can take place. rape is a man-thing, this is why it stands for "Risk Affirming Patriarchal Endeavors".

it is no wonder that rape is so common in the armed forces - if i were a soldier then i would want to teach the female soldier (who became a soldier because of gender-based physical requirements) a little something about gender. it is inconceivable that we allow vaginas to be in the armed forces to "protect and serve" anything but lunch. for crying out loud, what kind of hint do they need in order to realize that they are lackluster? there are already hints such as gender-based physical competitions. ie, there are gender-based sports teams because one gender would serve as a handicap to another gender, there are gender-based military requirements because vaginas can't achieve the same physical abilities as men can achieve, there are gender-based eating competitions (coney island, anyone?) for the same reason. now, i get off on seeing people who are regarded as "strong" lifting less than me at the gym, but this is only because i grew up being a "skinny little queer," as taylor robinson called me in the 7th or 8th grade. the truth is that society should not be giving vaginas a false sense of reality by telling them that they're strong and that they can do anything a man can do. the aforementioned gender-based physical competitions should justify the "anything a man can do" line as a lie.

let me get back to my point: booster-seats should be mandated by the department of transportation because the driver of any car or truck needs to be seen from behind. i mean, vaginas wear high-heeled shoes and shoulderpads - why do the wannabees stop there? why don't they willingly get booster-seats as (yet another) prop of "gender-equality" - especially the vaginas who drive big trucks? when i was 20 and driving a big GMC jimmy, i was told that big trucks make up for small balls - so if vaginas are a total absence of balls then why don't vaginas even think of putting booster-seats in their cars as a way of facilitating a fabricated sense of masculine gender-identity?


mr. dylan terreri, i
dr. sheldon cooper, ii
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna

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