this is another letter of complaint from my website of (homo)sexual assault that is
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna
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well, it's october 5th today. writing letters to "dear abby" really helps me see what is important in my life. here goes another one.

dear abby:

hello again, my dearest abby. i learn so many things while i'm online and researching a letter which i'm writing to you. let's start with the discovery of jeb blazavich. he's a football player who seems to be heading to UGA, which is the same college that my hero (joshua parker lane) went to and played football at. blazavich is such a stud, such a strongman. without the letters to you, dear abby, so many things would not be known to me. actually, abby blazavich would not be known to me. i feel that this is important enough to repeat.

without you, dear abby, jeb blazavich would not be known to me.

my discovering blazavich must be a sign that i should stop obsessing over josh (who isn't the big beefy lumberjack kind of man that he was during his senior year of high school), and start obsessing over blazavich (who IS that musclebound lumberjack). i discover so many things when i'm writing letters to my dear abby.

i can write to "dear abby" in letters and emails and blogs, i'd also be giving my drag-website some notoriety. oh, let me mention that when i do drag around cranberry township, i honor jeb blazavich because my name is abingdon blazavich. i honor "dear, abby" because abingdon's contact-page is well, let me pimp myself to the reader now - if you're in need of a trans-performer for your next party, i'm your girlyman. :)

when i'm in drag around cranberry township, my name is abingdon blazavich, and abby blazavich feels so free in her mistaken sexual-identity which she knows as feminism.

in all reality,though, feminism is nothing to be taken seriously, and i know that abby blazavich's conscience is apt to yearn for her vagina to be krazy-glued shut. i'd do that for her. she is a very sexually-confused individual whose vagina should not be parenting any children, simply because her gender-identity is all screwed up. for starters, she is a feminist who thinks that vaginas can do anything men can do...which in her case may be true, seeing as how i am a man and abby blazavich is my alter-ego...but in the real world, vaginas do not compare to men. they are shorter, smaller, weaker beings with milk-spouting/egg-bleeding bodies built not for strength but for pregnancy. vaginas have their own sports leagues not because it goes along with separate locker rooms, the reason why vaginas have their own sports leagues is because they cannot compete legitimately with men. vaginas would be seen as a handicap if they were to be on sports-teams with men. they are not as capable as men are. if i were president, i would mandate that abby blazavich's (and every other feminist's) vagina be krazy-glued shut - just to keep them from poisoning children with their feminist-values which are founded in spite and jealousy of the bigger, taller, stronger gender.

wannabees. that's what vaginas are, wannabees. how many times have you heard the "a vagina can do anything a man can do" line? it's such an obvious cry for masculine identity. well, let's give it to them. let's allow the swimming vaginas to compete against mike phelps. let's get rid of the "ladies' division" of the hot-dog eating competitions. let's allow men sportscasters into the vaginas' locker rooms, simply because the sportscasting vaginas go into the mens' locker rooms.

gee, dad, why are so few female basketball players able to slam-dunk the ball? i hear they're thinking about lowering the nets for the pipsqueaks. for decades, vaginas have played with a smaller ball than men - their volleyball nets are lower than mens', softball field-dimensions are smaller than those for baseball. i swear to abby blazavich's bloody/menstruating/egg-leaking vagina - vaginas everywhere get so much compensation for their pipsueak bodies.

mr. dylan terreri, i
dr. sheldon cooper, ii
miss abingdon blazavich
"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it." - Madonna

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