if i were god, i'd be insulted to know that one of MY masculine creations is seeking a perfect masculine creation

i came up with this quote after chatting online with chris lasala, hearing his unwavering praise of god and of god's unwavering perfection.

actually, chris lasala's youtube videos and his website, http://attackingsataninjesusname.com, has gotten me to look at the world in a completely different way. is astral projection proof of heaven and hell and souls and the afterlife? i still have to do a lot more research on that. but all of the demons he's cast from people, i guess my faith is no longer blind. i owe chris a big "thank you" for opening my eyes.

are there demons in my room, do demons cause me to masturbate, do demons cause my downstairs-roommate his insomnia? i am a little apt to think everything bad in my life is because of demons, and i try to find answers online. i am living in fear of everything i do, it seems - he said the roman-catholic church is demonic, i went to these churches in my childhood.

sometimes i wish i had never been born, i don't know anything about the way god wants me to live - i don't know if demons are making me masturbate - is boredom making me masturbate - is stress? are a lot of the things i do during the day, things that god does not want me to do? i have the utmost respect for chris, but there are so many points of view. i know someone with a degree in theology, who speaks much differently.

help me, honda...help, help me, honda.

check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com , unless you're there now