"because of me" - it is insulting when my mother tries to comfort me by telling me that it's my brain-injury and it's not my fault that i am controversial enough to get the police, the fbi, the secret service after me. or when she thinks that other people put the thoughts in my head that made the vaginas of the area call the police when they saw my writings. what i do fulfills me, so don't tell me that what i do is not my fault.

she has told me that she used to be "so proud" of me when i was getting PT (physical therapy) and working hard to get better. i haven't done PT since i was 19 or 20.

why's dylan's brain so strange? it's way unruly (oh, no)
why'd he get unwell - brought him up to be mister clean
why's dylan make webpages with a hellish scorn?
"i'm not robotic," he says to tell it's not my fault

"because of me," he'll ever blame his works on his life's walk
"because of me," he yearns to say he has made life from his adventures
"because of me," he tries so hard to bust egos of people, everyone around him
"because of me," the man he's made

i'm losing strength, cuz i'm not too charmed to have this boy around
i guess i'll cry because he won't seek teachers, make him right
i'll sure erase his smile, his laugh, everything from my life
i long for hospital-babe, helpless son who's in a coma, not this!

"because of me," he'll ever blame his works on his life's walk
"because of me," he yearns to say he has made life from his adventures
"because of me," he tries so hard to bust egos of people, everyone around him
"because of me," the man he's made

i watched him die and come revived, i was dying often
he was my son, as good as gold, now he's ev'rything i've feared
i never think of anyone's health, i don't want him changed
oh, how i cry - how i got no sense of pride since his age nineteen

"because of me," he'll ever blame his works on his life's walk
"because of me," he yearns to say he has made life from his adventures
because he's mean, i try my hardest just to forget everything
be something clean, i don't know how you'd get everything messy
be something neat, i'm ashamed of your life because it 'ffends me
because of you, i am dismayed

my love for you is love untrue
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