this is a scene from my screenplay, 16 til i die.
 
close the window to get back to the site
 
 
 
16. ext. under boardwalk - day
clyde approaches andy.
andy (to clyde)
i'm sorry for being arrogant. saying, "hmmn, a
performer" to you the way i did was to rise above
my own feelings of inadequacy.
clyde
what do you mean?
andy
i mean, i scoffed at your dreams to be an actor
like me because you're so much better than me at
everything else! you have abundantly hairy arm-
pits and a hairy chest and a meaty body! i had to
feel worth something in your presence, pride saves
the day for self-proclaimed losers like me!
clyde
what are you saying?
andy
i'm saying that opposites attract, be that man/wo-
man, confident man/insecure man, or even half-the-
woman/epitome of 'woman'! "opposites" is what you
feel inside about yourself, it's not strictly male
or female on the outside! i'm jealous, therefore
i lust! i'm jealous of your body like you're
jealous of saxy's! i need a man in my life for
the same reason you need a woman, i feel left out!
clyde
don't be a masculine insufficiency, love yourself!
andy (taken aback)
i love myself!
clyde
do you?
andy
yeah! did you see how high i was holding my head
when i was talking to j.d. and his friends before?
that was no commonplace q facade, it's proof! i
was independent!
clyde
yeah, i saw you with those dumbbells, i know you
were trying your hardest to be like j.d. i also
know you said, "hmmn, a performer" to me like
that cuz you were trying your hardest to be like
tamy. you've been trying to be like so many dif-
ferent people, dylan would've included living co-
lour's "cult of personality" in this act if it
wasn't already chock full of 1990 music!
andy
i'm the cult of personality?
andy pauses.
andy (cont)
i was a proud asshole to you guys, i admit it! i
take back everything i did, please take me back as
your friend!
clyde
andy, you said things that can't be taken back.
and you weren't proud, you were arrogant. you
said it yourself, "pride saves the day for self-
proclaimed losers like me," what did you mean?
andy
think. i'm a man, yet i see things in other men
that are taboo enough to arouse me! it's not say-
ing a hell of a lot about my masculine self-image.
i'm sure not "every man," it's not "all in me".
clyde
you're right, whitney.
andy
and i don't want other people to be aware of how
weak i feel, so i'll throw a gay pride parade to
pull the wool over both our eyes!
andy dons a pair of shades.
clyde
and stick your tongue out like an jealous, foot-
stomping child, huh? "nyah, nyah, i don't like
being different from you, but instead of changing
my behavior i'll flaunt it - in your face - til
the cows come home!" what kind of self-respecting
adult has that kind of attitude?
there is a pause.
andy
gay pride parades are more like gay pride facades?
clyde
you said it, not me.
there is a pause, as andy comprehends.
andy
oh, just please be my friend!
clyde
why should i wanna be friends with someone who
doesn't even love himself?
andy
i do love myself!
clyde
don't you see what you're doing by lusting after
me, another man? you're not loving yourself as a
man, you're loving yourself as a masculine insuf-
ficiency!
andy
what?
clyde
i don't love saxy! i need another woman in my
life because next to claudia, she doesn't compare!
why do you need another man in your life besides
the man you are?
andy
because i'm gay!
clyde
that's just an excuse! just because you have a
homosexual attraction doesn't mean you have to a-
dopt a gay lifestyle.
andy
what am i supposed to do, it takes years to lose a
homosexual lust.
clyde
if you're governed by lust, you don't belong in a
free country. you're a slave.
andy
well, everybody sins, god will forgive me.
clyde
why should he, your actions certainly don't say
you're sorry for your behavior. the faggots of
sodom and gomorrah weren't sorry either, look what
happened to them.
andy
everybody sins. period.
clyde
claim yourself q and you're living there!
(pauses) you're so obsessed with mary, why don't
you take her advice?
andy
what?
clyde
don't go for second best, baby.
there is a pause.
andy
i'm attracted to men, what do you want me to do,
go for myself?! i was born this way!
clyde
quit pulling the wool over your eyes, take respon-
sibility! you said it yourself, opposites attract,
even for gays! christ, don't be that way, "accept
what you've not, baby, tend 'til you've got. im-
press yourself." be strong enough to be your man.
andy
you're the cult of personality, mr. top ten.
clyde
good, top ten is maybe something you can relate
to. how 'bout this one: "sometimes old men die
with little boy faces"?
andy
how 'bout it?
clyde
if you keep seeing men the way you do now, you're
gonna be one of 'em someday.
there is a pause, as andy comprehends.
andy
what are you trying to do to me?
clyde
what are you trying to do to yourself, letting
your libido determine the course of your life?!
andy
i love men and women equally, but god gave me the
lust i feel. so i have no choice but to be gay.
clyde (pausing)
pro-gay really brainwashed you, didn't they?
andy
that's what they're here for, to brainwash youth
and to get them to live life for lust!
clyde
free your mind, andy, different is good. don't be
so tied up in the selfish "same sex or no sex at all"
thing.
andy
it's hard to change my wanton desires.
clyde
it's easy to change your behavior. rise above lust,
it's unhealthy and quite naive. it's like a giant
question mark. q. that's gays, their whole life is
one big q. "duh, let's strip and inspect ourselves!"
andy
to each his own. i'm not gonna change my behavior if
it's fun!!! some men are happy to need other men,
it's fun for them! fun, fun, fun! whoopie!!!
andy puts his thumb in his mouth.
clyde
some "men" put up a front to quiet their inner man
who has been driven to tears. real men are man
enough to be their own man, that's self-love.
that's independence.
andy (violated)
shut up, i'm independent! just because anna acts
like a mom and overprotects me, doesn't mean i'm
dependent on people! i can make it on my own!
clyde
i didn't mean it that way.
andy
yes, you did! i'm independent, no matter what you
say, nobody can take that away from me!
clyde
i meant that you're choosing not to be an indepen-
dent man. you can't stand on your own two hairy
legs - you won't stand on your own two masculine
legs - you need another pair to feel complete!
that's a deficiency, and it's not a matter of ge-
netics, if you think there's anything chemical a-
bout the insufficience you feel without another
man in your life, you're pulling the wool.
andy
two men can love! just as well as heterosexuals!
and two dads can love their child just as much!
clyde
their child?! what a joke, gay parenting is so
fucking self-important, gays proclaim their life-
style to be so much better than straights', but
then they have the nerve to take the very product
of heterosexuality and claim it as their own! the
sad thing about it is that it's no family, it's
just fucking long-term babysitting!
andy is listening carefully.
clyde (cont)
and what the hell kind of values can be impressed
onto a kid with gay parents, but "be selfish/only
accept what is like you," or "ignore different
people like they don't exist"? christ, fags want
to abolish the age of consent cuz they want dibs
on kids before maturity gets it.
andy (pausing)
nambla is well-received, a lot more than namgla.
clyde
there's no north american man/girl lust association
cuz straight men aren't perverted sex fiends who get
off on controlling and manipulating youth! gays are
perverts society embraces in exhchange for a feeling
of self-worthiness in a land of open minds!
andy
you're homophobic.
clyde
call me what you will, but if you wanna believe
there's nothing detremental to a masculine soul,
about finding security, fulfillment, and something
excitably taboo in another one, it's your loss.
andy (pausing)
i'm not denying my own masculinity! i don't see
masculinity as a taboo! i just like...real men!
andy's eyes drop to clyde's naked chest.
clyde
what's homosexuality responsible for besides a big
disease with a little name growing into a gigantic
epidemic? andy, i wanna get to know you, i really
wanna be your friend, but i can't be around grown
men who look at other men through the eyes of a
child. i feel the shame you refuse to.
clyde walks back to the suck and blow game, and andy is heartbroken.
there is a long pause, as andy sits there violated.
andy (yelling to clyde)
fuck you, clyde! fuck all of you lemons! i'm
starting over! i'll move far away from you!
fade out
 
 
close this window to get back to the page you were just at