you've seen the commercial, right? i saw it at 1 am on february 12, 2001.

let's get one thing straight, pitious old man who cannot talk without a computerized device held up to his are not a victim of anything but your own stupidity and negligence. so stop blaming. to hell with whirled peas, visualize maturity. take responsibility for yourself. how long have you been smoking cigarettes, how long have you been an addict, how long have you heard that cigarette smoking is not the healthiest thing for you? how long have those magazine advertisements been hypnotising you and putting you under a spell, how many times have you bought cigarettes not of your own free will, at how many miles up will you finally say "no, i will not jump out of this building, damnit!"

this must be another ploy for the government to get us helpless, mindless runts to realize that we do need a big brother's protection if we don't want to be taken advantage of. "it's marlboro's fault that i have cancer, they advertise with cool-looking people using their products and i wanna be cool," "it's the school's fault that i have gaids, they did not hand out condoms to complement the governmentally-endorsed guide to safe thrillseeking textbooks that they use," "nothing is ever my fault because i have been lobotomized by the clinton administration and the democrats' agendas"

anatomy of a whiner back

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