i went to joe's crab shack one day and could smell the contempt of the Strongwoman who was serving me. so i sent this to the company:
to whom it may concern:
i was having lunch with my friend today. at first, i noticed there were no waiters, only 3 waitresses that i saw...as well as the female employee at the entrance. now, it is only natural that Strongwoman, in all her natural state, would be subservient, and therefore would be more apt to serve your clientele. i do not thiink that this is the reason there were no men there. if men were as insecure as Strongwoman, i'd have a "national organization for men" to complain to and to sue your sexist corporation.
the problem i had today was that our waitress, "slee," took our order and she took too much time 1) returning with our glasses of water, 2) returning again with our hush puppies, 3) returning with our meals, 4) returning with the extra plate that should have been brought out with the food, since she was told we were to share. now, i run an organization for the legalization of rape, based out of pennsylvania, complete with www.legalizerape.org and all, and i wear and sell shirts promoting my cause. i have gotten so much attitude from Strongwomen everywhere i go, from the ones at the kinko's to the ones at the oil change place to the little old lady who actually had the nerve to tell me she'd "take me out back and beat some sense into me" after i crumpled up the receipt i had to show her, to "slee" at your restaurant. now, it's bad enough that your restaurant has an atmosphere of unprofessional apathy - it seems to be the "in" thing, but when your waitresses show the same apathy in their dealings with customers, that should not happen.
i have reason to believe she spit in our food, and unless you assure me that something will be done to punish her - maybe the termination of her job or a night in one of those islamic "rape rooms," i will not be back to your extablishment. better yet, i will be back to your establishment wearing my "legalizerape.org" t-shirt and ballcap. you have no excuse for hiring Strongwomen who are apt to express their female hypersensitivity at their place of employment, becaause their actions reflect badly on your company.