whenever anyone in local gay chat rooms initiates a chat with me, no matter how innocent it starts, they always ask me what i do for a living.  maybe it's the $25,000 i just was awarded in court which had to be in the paper - maybe it's truth i make known when i'm asked what i do for a living, that i live off a settlement from a car wreck.  but, everyone's curious about my financial situation.

somebody i was chatting with just a few hours ago, seemed dead-set on being my "boyfriend".  sometimes i make myself out of be friendless and unhappy, looking for the man of my dreams to love me unconditionally or something.   so now and then, after nobody at all chats with me, i get one who wants to have a little fun with the victim.  yeah, they know i'm brain- damaged, the one by the airport thinks he is doing me a disservice by spreading the knowledge i planted in him.  he is like a doorman at the courthouse, he told me he knows everything about the accident lawsuit - even though the hearing was held fifteen years ago in another state.

i swear, i am the "gay rumor" i said i was in my parody of "something to talk about".

who needs friends expecting dough
they tell me that they want to phone
they would not play my broken heart
if they found out how i roll

i'm just chatting about my lonely life
and replacing dudes with dogs
when it's found out i've no sexu'l life
they wanna throw me a bone!

they heard a rumor, ooh ooh, they heard a rumor
they play me like i'm in the dark, i'm burnin,
they spread the rumor, what i live for, ooh ooh woo hoo

how it seems they're telling me
they'll change my lonely days
i wouldn't give them my sex or ass
gay things seem to have aids

though i beam with pride at first, it fades
with the words that prove them gay
how can i 'gnore this and swoon for them
i'd ever rather be their bait

they heard a rumor, ooh ooh, they heard a rumor
they'll play upon my broken heart, i'm learning
to churn the rumor, what i live for, ooh ooh woo hoo

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