you don't date?

quoth sheldon cooper: "The need to find another human being to share one's life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I am so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may *you* find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own.

as for inspecting anyone else's body with every one of one's seven senses, the only "perfect specimen of manhood" i need is a photo. i will admit that masculinity is somewhat of a "discovery zone," i will admit to being somewhat of a masculivoid, but porn is enough of a crutch for me.

one thing that always makes me look away, one thing that is as repulsive as my own toilet-dung, is a close-up of anyone's asshole. now, i may maintain that all cocks are not created equal...but all assholes are. unless a man's behind is firm with muscle, i will not be doing anything near an asshole. i once stuck my tongue - er, no, my finger - in someone's asshole and i felt the tip of a log. that's all too much of a slap in the face.

didn't cher have a line in moonstruck that went something like this: "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

step right up if your shit doesn't stink, but since it does then i don't think i should even be putting tim tebow or matt muchnok on a pedestal...because i'm just going to be let-down in the end. or on account of the rear-end.

didn't billy joel say "you're only human...woo, woo"

in the words of prince, "i would rather drink six razor- blades...razor-blades from a paper cup".

come to think of it, maybe it was my tongue and not my finger that felt the end of the piece of shit up his ass.

so i like to look at big strong men...i don't need anyone telling me that i am living an incomplete life if i do not relish in using my other six senses to familiarize my clueless self with masculinity.

ha. i just thought of a parody of springsteen's "human touch" that i should make. "human crutch".


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